Act Your Age!

I’ve said before, I monitor my kids’ social media.  I don’t just look at their account to see what they’re posting, I log into their account to see what they are chatting about, and what their friends are posting. I’ve been told (by my kids) that I’m a stalker. I tell them “No, I’m your Mom”.

The girl is now 11, in the 6th grade, and I look at her Instagram often. It’s the only social media she has (no Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or anything else). And the more I look at it, the more I am grateful that she still acts like an 11-year-old, and not 11-going-on-17. I’ve seen girls in short shorts (Daisy Dukes for us 80’s kids), girls showing cleavage, girls making obscene gestures, girls talking about who they “like” this week, and who they are dating.

I’m sorry, but The Girl will NOT be wearing shorts where the pockets are longer than the shorts themselves, nor will she show cleavage (whether she has any to show, or not). She knows better to post a photo of herself making an obscene gesture, because Mom WILL see it, make her take it down, AND ground her.  And I am SO glad that the only “crush” she has is on a young man from Northern Ireland, who happens to be a member of a very popular boy band.  As far as she is concerned, most of the local boys have cooties, and I’d like to keep her thinking that way for awhile.

When did these little girls start growing up so fast? Why, at 11, is it OK for them to be “sexy”? They are still little girls who should act like it, and dress like it. Yes, they are reaching that age where they are going to start becoming interested in boys, but when did it become acceptable for them to date, and jump form “boyfriend” to “boyfriend” each week? When did it become acceptable for them to dress as if they are 21 instead of 11?

I know it may not make her the most popular girl in school, but I hope my daughter stays 11 until she turns 12. She’s got plenty of years ahead of her to be older.  Let’s embrace and rejoice in the childhood they have, while they have it, and not rush them into acting like little adults….because they’re not.

Parenting Social Media

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat.  Like it or not, social media is here, and it is taking over. I’ve talked before about my use of social media. For me, as someone who works from home, Facebook is my “water cooler”. It’s my connection to the outside world, and especially with my co-workers.  We, as adults, know that social media comes with a level of personal responsibility. We know that anything we put out there is out there to stay. We know that “private” does not necessarily mean “private”.  Or do we? We’ve all seen the news stories of seemingly intelligent adults getting raked over the coals for something they posted.

So what makes parents think that their kids are capable of handling social media on their own? Let’s face it, kids are stupid. We were all stupid. My kids are stupid. They are smart as can be, but they are stupid. They live in the “now”, and don’t consider what consequences might befall them later.

With that said, what is it with parents not monitoring what their kids are posting to social media?? I’ve had this discussion on Facebook before, and it has been said that kids do not belong on social media. To this, I disagree. Social media is a big part of today’s world, and I’d rather my kids learn how to navigate it now, while I can still monitor them and teach them how to do so safely. Not only do I look at their accounts, I sign in to their accounts and look at who their friends are, who follows them and who they are following. I read their comments. And yes, I’ve had to delete a few things here and there, and have a discussion about why it wasn’t appropriate to post what they did. The Boy has a Facebook that he doesn’t use much, as well as an Instagram. The Girl only has an Instagram.

By logging into their actual accounts, I can also see what their friends are posting. And it is scary. An 8th Grade girl just had a baby. 5th Grade girls wearing full makeup and Daisy Duke’s (a/k/a booty shorts for the young). All posted on the Internet for all of their “followers” to see. And when I see young girls with over 1000 followers on Instagram, I get concerned. 1000 followers? Over 350 “likes” on a picture of a pre-teen selfie in booty shorts? My Facebook has just over 350 friends, and that is 42 years’ worth of friends and family. Looking at that list of likes, you can’t tell me that she really knows that 25-year-old man in Michigan, or that 19-year-old in Kansas.

Parents, please, I beg you. I implore you. Watch what your kids are posting online. Ask who all those friends are. Make sure their pictures are appropriate. Your job didn’t end when they turned 10 years old. In many ways, it’s just starting.

Twitter

I’ve been on social media for quite some time, starting back with MySpace. I’m currently very active on Facebook. Since I work at home, it is a connection with many of my co-workers and acts as my “water cooler” during the day for some friend interaction. I also post a bit on Instagram, and love Pinterest!

Twitter, however, has always eluded me. I’ve had an account set up for quite some time, but never could quite figure it out. Lately, I’ve seen more and more tv shows/celebrities/etc with “Follow me on Twitter!”. So, I’ve dusted off the account and made it “active” again. I’ve followed some people, and will be cross-posting this blog to my Twitter account. I posted one Tweet, and it showed up on my Facebook account…not even sure how I did that. lol  It seems I’ve got a lot to learn.

If anybody would like to follow me, you can do so @dianals.  Or, if you have any hints and tips, I’d love to hear them!